A Homestuck blog that analyzes your fan sessions. I'm your host, the Page of Space. Please, send me an ask detailing your SBURB session's group. Include each member's god tier title, and a few words about each of their personalities.
I will analyze it for you, and detail how the session might go, each member's role, and your chance of success. Don't worry, my friends! We'll get your adventures rolling!

13th April 2014

Question with 12 notes

Anonymous asked: Alright! I've got a Knight of Space, Witch of Time, Maid of Breath, and Rogue of Life. How's it looking?

Looking oh so fine, doll face.

Knight of Space-

Personality:

We should just rename SBURB as “Everybody Loves the Knight of Space.”

Because that’s basically all it’s about.

The Knight is an upstanding citizen, stalwart companion, excellent friend, and a bit of a sneaky jerk.  They are very well-rounded skill-wise, but have a massive workload. 

Powers:

Of course, the Knight has the teleportation abilities that all Space Heroes have.  However, the Knight is particularly adept at utilizing this ability in battle.  They can zip back and forth around the enemy, striking and teleporting in one smooth movement.  If used properly, this ability can make it almost impossible for opponents to land a direct hit on you.  Not only this, but the Knight can increase their momentum, speed, force, and density, making them very formidable opponents, even without their trademark “Flash Step” maneuver.

The Knight of Space also often utilizes the [Space Rave] ability as a distraction/dramatic entrance.  Oh man, that’s easily in my top ten favorite special abilities in Sburb.  It does exactly what you think it would.

SBURB Role:

The Knight has the unique disposition of exploiting their Aspect in ways that most other Heroes would never even consider.  Knights have a knack for bending the rules, and bending them well

Unfortunately, this mindset has a serious consequence. 

Oh geez, how do I put this…. Well, the first thing you have to understand is that Aspects are a lot more self-aware and intelligent than most people think.  They have unique personalities, and unique relationships with all the other Aspects.  And they are very sensitive.  Oh my gosh, they are such divas.  Aspects hate having their feelings hurt, and wow, they are vengeful.  Most Heroes have to forge an understanding with their Aspect’s personality, and learn more about what makes their Aspect tick.

Knights don’t do that in the slightest. 

The Knight learns how to exploit their Aspect like a conman in Vegas on a Tuesday, not how to connect with it.  Knights will cheat, steal, and blatantly exploit game-mechanics to further their own ends.

So the Aspect sulks.

It simply refuses to show up in the Session.  The Aspect does the bare minimum it can get away with in any given situation, and drags its feet when the Knight tries to command it.  In order to utilize their Aspect to the greatest degree, a Knight must fulfill a very unique role.  The Knight must earn their Aspect’s respect.  They have to make the Aspect so impressed that they can’t help but, at the very least, grudgingly respect the Knight.

This is especially unfortunate with a Knight of Space, given how important the Space Aspect is to a Session.  It should go without saying that if you want to make a healthy universe, you need Space’s cooperation.  At least Space isn’t quite as big a drama queen as, say, Light. 

Space has a bit of a zen thing going on.  At least, it tries to.  It’s not very good at being zen.  Probably because Space is constantly subjected to paradoxes, infinite loops, and various other things that mess with the poor, poor, fragile fabric of reality.  I mean, is it really necessary to turn the universe into your own personal M.C. Escher painting every time you need to solve a simple puzzle?  I’m talking to you, Void Heroes.

Anyway, Space tries to be calm, but has a biiiit of a short temper.  Most Sessions with a Knight of Space will be unusually small.  That means that you’ll have less distance between you and Skaia, and can get there very early.  Sounds great, right?  No.  If you activate The Reckoning too early, when the group isn’t even close to ready, you will get pulverized.

Its part of the reason Knights of Space have such a massive workload. They need to really win points with Space, gain trust and reconcile.  Space is a pushover, and she comes around once you get on her good side.  Be nice, and you’ll get a bit more time to prepare and make a very healthy Genesis Frog. 

Yeah, Aspects are basically Tsundere.

“Y-you’re such a baka, Knight-kun!”

Team Influence:

Shoe-in for team leader, right?  Wrong.  The last thing the Knight wants is another responsibility on their plate.  That dubious honor will likely go to the Maid of Breath.  The Knight is the team mommy, though.  This Space Hero will have to try and break through their stony façade to become a shoulder to cry on for the rest of the team.  Good luck with that, bro.

Also, this Knight is the long suffering target of the Witch of Time’s various pranks and tricks.  The Knight almost gives as good as he gets.

Read More

Tagged: 4/13knight of spacewitch of timemaid of breathrogue of lifehomestuckfanadventureanalysishomestuckpage of space

12th April 2014

Post with 18 notes

The Page is back in town.

Guess who’s back.

Back again.

Page is back.

Tell a friend.

Tagged: page of spacehomestuckfanadventureanalysisbackback againand ready to review like never before

22nd August 2013

Question with 5 notes

Anonymous asked: Would 1/2 scissor-kind be good for a Sylph of Heart?

Ah yes, I happen to be a fan of sharp things in the hands of Sylphs.  Sylphs are often some of the most level-headed people in a Session, so they need to be equipped to deal with some of the more…..unsavory sorts.  

That’s not to say that all Sylphs are quite like that, it just seems to be a consistent trait among most of the Sylph’s I’ve seen in action.  

Anyway, yes, I approve of this weapon for a Heart player especially, because it allows them to get up close and personal with the enemy they are fighting.  The closer a Heart Hero is to their opponent, the more opportunity to activate The Shiny Thing.

For those of you unaware, The Shiny Thing is a big ball of, well, shiny stuff that Heroes of Heart can pull out of just about anything.  It represents the coding that resides within each game abstraction.  Heart players can fiddle with it, and literally change the person or thing they are messing with.  It’s a pretty terrifying ability.

It works better on NPC’s than actual Players, because NPC’s are entirely coding, products of SBURB.  That means that high-level Heart Heroes are capable of completely rewriting NPC’s personalities and statistics. 

The Players, on the other hand, are not pure coding.  The only programming that surrounds Players is their stats and inventory.  Heart players can make only minor changes to other Player’s average stats, and no changes at all to their personality.  

However, using The Shiny Thing on sentient beings is very difficult, and not even God Tier Heart Players can pull it off very well, in most cases.

The most common use of The Shiny Thing is to jack up the stats on a weapon or piece of armor.  It gives Heart players one of the most overpowered abilities in SBURB, by allowing them access to high-level equipment much earlier than usual.  

Which means you can sneak some very interesting attributes into your little 1/2 scissor-kind.  For example, you could program it to extend ten feet in .01 seconds, fooling your enemies into thinking you have only a small dagger, when suddenly BAM they get a scissor tip through the shoulder.  Very effective for dealing with team-killers, which is a sad duty often fulfilled by Sylphs.

Or you could simply max out the strength on your scissor half, astounding enemies with much larger weapons when then find their greatsword being overpowered by such a small blade.  

Yes, I heartily approve of this weapon for a Sylph of Heart.

(See what I did there?)

Stay Safe!

18th August 2013

Question with 2 notes

Anonymous asked: How full is your ask box currently?

Well, according to the positioning of the moon and stars, exactly 220 asks.  

I have completed around 7 Reviews.

So.

*cough*

It’s going to take a long time to finish all these asks, and I’m thinking about closing the ask box for a while to try and put a dent in that number.  

But I just caaan’t.  I can’t stand closing out possible asks, but I have so many asks to answer.

DO YOU SEE MY DILEMMA?

However, it is fantastic that you guys are so enthusiastic about this! There are some really great and creative adventures that need reviewing!  So fear not!  Reviews will continue!

Stay Safe!

10th August 2013

Question with 11 notes

Anonymous asked: What would be a good strife specibus for a knight of space?

Ok, so people like the weapon suggestion idea! 

Alright, so if you want to have a good weapon, the first thing you need to know is that it really doesn’t matter what weapon you have.  It all depends on how creative and imaginative you are willing to be.

I mean, heck, my Session’s Bard of Doom uses freaking Nerf Guns, for crying out loud. Our Seer of Heart uses a toy Yoyo. And they are devastating with them. 

But if you want a weapon that can be used in tandem with your abilities, than I would normally suggest some type of projectile weapon.  Space powers are especially effective when used with guns, as they can alter the bullets that leave the barrel, becoming unstoppable homing missiles that can track your enemy no matter where they hide.

However, a Knight can’t always afford to have a long-distance weapon.  They need to up there on the front lines, holding the trenches, throwing whatever they have against the enemy.  Knights have to exploit their Aspect in order to win, so an unconventional weapon is usually best.  What I would recommend specifically for a Knight of Space is some kind of long reach weapon, like a giant Scythe.  With the Knight’s Space powers, swinging around something big like that is no problem.

However, if you really want to get tricky, my personal favorite is Chain Kind.  A very long metal chain may not seem like such a good idea, but trust me, it can be devastating with effective use of portals.  By setting up small instant portals, you can create a veritable web of chains, trapping or crushing any opponent.  It would look something like this horrendously watermarked picture.

 

So those are my suggestions!

I also recommend experimenting, and seeing what best works for you!

 

Stay Safe!

Tagged: page of spacehomestuckhomestuckfanadventureanalysisstrife specibusstrifing

10th August 2013

Question with 33 notes

mindfreakdragon asked: how well would a session containing a Knight of Space (first in), a Witch of Heart (next in), a Mage of Time (third), and a Page of Life (last) function?

About as well as you might expect.

 

Knight of Space:

Personality –

Poor overworked babby.  This poor sod is going to be running up and down all of SBURB to finish their missions.  Of which there are many!

The Knight of Space is the busiest of any SBURB role.  The Space player is usually very busy, what with all the frog-breeding they have to do.  Space Heroes are also expected to contribute in the SBURB game with normal duties as well, although they don’t have to deal with their Denizen being a total prick. 

That not enough for you?  Let’s throw on the duties of a Knight.  The Knight is responsible for running back and forth across practically all of Paradox Space protecting his or her teammates.  Not only that, but they have to fulfill their Aspect quests as well. 

So the Knight of Space has to deal with the Space Aspect, SBURB, their friends, saving their friends, comforting their friends, and just all around being their friends mommy, basically. 

Protip:  (The Knight loves every minute of it.  You know you do, don’t try to deny it.)  

 

Powers –

Of course, you got your teleportation abilities that all Space Heroes have.  However, the Knight is particularly adept at utilizing this ability in battle.  They can zip back and forth around the enemy, striking and teleporting in one smooth movement.  If used properly, this ability can make it almost impossible for opponents to land a direct hit on you.  Not only this, but the Knight can increase their momentum, speed, force, and density, making them very formidable opponents, even without their trademark “Flash Step” maneuver.

SBURB Influence –

The Knight is in charge of the frog-breeding, which in this Session will be much aided by the Mage of Time, who is especially skilled at knowing where, or rather, when to go to pick up the correct frog. 

The Knight is also in charge of just about everything else, from protecting their teammates, to handling emotional breakdowns.

 

Team Influence –

This Knight.  This Knight right here, I tell you what.  This Knight is going to whip the Page of Life into one mean, lean, healing machine.

Of course, then the Page is going to turn that Self-Improvement right back on the Knight later on, but I’ll explain that in the Page’s Team Influence Section.

Aside from that, the Knight would make a pretty good leader, but their probably way too busy for a job like that.

 

Witch of Heart:

Personality –

Oh, what a lovely bunch of feels you have there.  Here, let me WRENCH THEM OUT OF YOUR HEART AND CRUSH IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

The Witch of Heart is not a bad person.  She is just very…..insensitive. 

She sees others as tools, to be used for her own amusement and goals.  Everything is a joke to her, and your team is likely to get trodden underfoot if she isn’t reined in a little bit.

(Protip: Trodden underfoot may be taken literally in some cases.  Watch out, Page.)

Powers –

Well, Heart players have one of the most powerful abilities in the game, and the Witch is especially adept at using it. 

The Shiny Thing.  It’s an ability that allows Heart Heroes to take the “Essence” of an object or person, and change it around to suit their needs.  It’s a bit disconcerting, actually.  They just rip the glowing orb right out of your chest, and fiddle with it like a toy.

Please ask permission before you use it on your teammates.  They may freak out if you stick your hand in their chest without any sort of context.  I know I did.

Anyway, the Witch is by far the best at using the Shiny Thing.  She can change around her enemies’ targeting system, a weapon’s attack stats, a person’s memory….etc.  It’s a pretty freaky ability.

In addition, the Witch of Heart is a very skilled manipulator.  She knows exactly what buttons to push in order to gain favor from others, and what buttons to press in order to enrage others. 

SBURB Influence –

Heart players have two modes.  Really really really empathetic, or icy cold.  Guess which one the Witch is?  Answer: Cold

As such this Witch is going to have to learn to care more about other people.  There’s only one problem.  The Witch couldn’t care less about any of that.  She will scoff at her Aspect and Land Quests, and skip straight to the Political Questline of Prospit and Derse.  And she will be absolutely devastating there.  The Queens had better watch out, because the Witch of Heart would LOVE to overthrow both of them and take her place as Grand Tyrannical Despot of the Moons, waited on hand and foot by carapacian servants.

She wouldn’t mind making the other Players on her team into her servants as well, however.

 

Team Influence –

She will want to be team leader, obviously.  And while she may be good at coordination, her leadership also comes with the slightly negative side effect of horrendous tyranny.  So I wouldn’t exactly recommend her as team leader.

The Page had better watch out, because the Witch knows a vulnerable chump when she sees one.  The Page of Life will be the Witch’s first target of manipulation, messing with them until the Page agrees to work for the Witch. 

 

 

Mage of Time:

Personality –

Mages are…..smug, to be sure.  They often start out as insecure, as well.

It’s strange, how they can be both “I’m the best thing since sliced bread” and “Why am I SUCH AN IDIOT” at the same time.

The Mage of Time knows Time in and out, and makes sure everyone knows it. 

 

(Protip: No seriously, you’ll be required to carry around synchronized watches.)

Powers –

Mages are capable of incredible majyyk, and the Time Aspect has a powerful repertoire of useful applications.  For example, the Mage could cast a spell that froze time in a wide area, or merge entire doomed timelines back with the Alpha.

 

SBURB Influence –

The Mage is responsible for the slew of Time shenanigans that allow SBURB Sessions to exploit game mechanics and achieve certain objectives.  The Mage is very good at time travel, as one of the few Time players that can really comprehend and keep track of all the different timelines.  Normally Time players need a Mind player to help them, or just go the “who cares if a few hundred of me die” route.  I don’t recommend that route. 

Anyway, the Mage is twisting time loops and stabilizing paradoxes like nobodies business.  The Mage is good, and they know it.

Team Influence –

The team strategist, who knows where and, more importantly, when certain events need to occur.  The Mage will also make a bid for team leader, most likely, if only to spite the Witch, whom they hate.

The Mage also makes an excellent team with the Knight of Space.  The Mage is the brains, and the Knight is the brawn.  Very few combinations work better than a Knight and Mage working together.

 

Page of Life:

Personality –

No doubt this Page will initially be a very lazy individual, who is too apathetic about their situation to want to change anything.  But as they progress along their path, and learn the value of Life and all that nonsense, the Page will begin to take charge and lead the way.  They will begin to emanate the Life Aspect, and realize what it is all about.

(Protip: What is Life, baby don’t hurt me, no more.)

Powers –

A very, very powerful healer.  Perhaps even the strongest healer in SBURB.  Pages have the ability to “Give” their Aspect to their fellow Players, and Life is something that SBURB Players often need.  When the Page is not saving their teammates from various bumps and bruises, they can also overcharge their surroundings with Life, creating explosions of pure Life force.

SBURB Influence –

Some Sessions have the potential to stagnate after a while.  The team is simply fed up with SBURB’s overall chumpishness, and decides to just stop bothering.  You need someone who can give energy and motion to a Session, someone who fuels the Team to keep going, if only to spite SBURB.  The Page of Life is uniquely qualified for this role.  The Page gives Life in both a physical and a metaphorical sense, and spurs the Team onward.  I don’t want to say you’re the cheerleader, but you’re totally the cheerleader.  Just roll with it.

Team Influence –

Life players often foster very…..motherly tendencies.  Not in the same way as the Space Player, though.  The Space Hero is more of an emotional caretaker, who comforts and soothes those who are overcome by the rigors of SBURB.  The Life player is a different kind of mom, a more….forceful one.  The kind of mom who rips open the window curtains in the morning, letting sunlight down on your sleepy face, dilating your pupils to the size of pinheads in a matter of seconds.  You then wake up confused and thrashing around in agony at the pain in your eyes.  You are then forcefully fed a plate of vegetables and fruit, and sent out the door to spend the day in the great outdoors.  That kind of mom.

Now, the Page isn’t going to be like this, no, not at all.

At least, not at first.

In the beginning, this Page is going to ‘act’ like they don’t care about your health and general well-being, but after this Life Hero really starts channeling their Aspect, watch out.  They basically become the badass medic anime person who beats up their patients for not resting enough.

“WHY ARE YOU NOT IN BED?!”

*softly beats you into unconsciousness*

 

Overall Chances:

Not bad, as long as the Witch is held in check.  

The Dynamic Duo (AKA the Knight and Mage) can handle just about any problem that may arise, and the Page is one heck of a healer/moral booster.

Once the Witch learns that friendship is very important (/rolls eyes) she will be able to make the team into the fighting machine it was meant to be.  

Just don’t end up as the Witch’s heart zombies.  That would be less than preferable.

 

Stay Safe!

Tagged: knight of spacewitch of heartpage of lifemage of timehomestuckhomestuckfanadventureanalysisfan reviewfan adventuresessionsburbSBURB is actually a huge jerk

26th July 2013

Question with 1 note

Anonymous asked: Just wondering, could we ask you what kind of strife-specibus would be good for a certain title?

By all means!

I’d be more than happy to recommend a few weapons that would go well with your god tier’s abilities.  Hey, I can make that into a regular thing if you guys want it.  What do you guys say?  Do you want this included in the average review?

Stay Safe!

22nd July 2013

Post with 45 notes

132 Follower Celebration!

You guys are amazing.  I mean, 132 followers?  Sheesh, I wanted to do something for the 50th followers, but that passed me by like a rocket.  So, to thank you guys for over 100 followers, I’ve formed a list of the Top Five Worst SBURB Sessions I have ever had the displeasure of watching.  The top five most idiotic, horrific Sessions that I could not turn my head away from, no matter how much I wanted to. 

 

 

5. The Session that pitted Prospit Dreamers versus Derse Dreamers. 

Ok, this one gets on the list because it annoys me on a personal level. 

Basically, both sides assumed that they were supposed to fight each other because they were on different moons. 

I mean, how stupid do you have to be to assume Prospit dreamers and Derse dreamers have to fight each other?  I get that the Dersites are the “bad guys,” but the Prospitians aren’t much better, really.  Both sides are completely ridiculous, and are supposed to come across like that.  After all, the whole point of the game is to take away the Ultimate Prize from both sides.  While Derse is strict and cruel, Prospit is too permissive and naïve.  Both of them would do a horrible job with a new universe.  That’s where you come in.  SBURB players are supposed to realize the shortcomings of both sides throughout the course of their dream missions.  Prospit and Derse are like cartoon personifications of good and evil.  You need to find a balance.

I’m not sure how players are assigned to Prospit and Derse, actually. There are a lot of theories out there, but I can’t find a conclusive reason that covers all the bases.  It might be entirely random, or it may be related to your Title and Aspect.  I don’t know, theories are appreciated people.  Don’t hesitate to send me your theories/headcanons, btw.  That kind of stuff gives the reviews their extra gumption.

Anyway, the people who hopped into this SBURB Session thought that the whole point of the game was to defeat the opposing side.  It did not end well.  Especially because it ended with both Prospit and Derse CRASH-LANDING ON SKAIA.  Both idiotic sides both had the same idiotic plan, and schemed around each other’s back to destroy the other side’s Dream Moon.  And they both succeeded. 

Of course, they did manage to salvage the Session, by coming together against a common enemy.  It turns out that that lousy Jack Noir is good for something.  Being an incentive.

 

4. The Session that was hi-jacked by the equivalent of SBURB Terrorists.

A Witch of Void, a Prince of Breath, and a Thief of Hope took over a Session populated by a Page of Time, Maid of Space, Seer of Life, and a Mage of Blood.  Their own Session’s Hero of Space was killed, so the Witch exploited the Fourth Walls in order to break into the other Session. 

Once the bullies showed up, they forced the weaker players to complete all their quests in order to create a new universe.  The Witch, Prince, and Thief planned to take the new universe for themselves, and only bring the Maid of Space along to build them their planets.  The rest of the team was going to be left behind.

It was a sorry state of affairs.  The Prince of Breath destroyed their freedom by keeping all of them separate on their own planets, the Thief of Hope used her mind games to steal their hope, and give them despair, and the Witch of Void kept the whole Session on lockdown. 

Yeesh, what a mess. 

But they made a mistake.  They underestimated someone.  They focused too much on the Seer and Maid.  They knew the Page could become a threat, so they barred his development.  But they forgot the Mage. 

It makes sense, after all.  Blood players don’t have many combat powers besides a very stubborn vitality, and Mages are primarily a knowledge class.  The tyrants destroyed any method of communications the residents had, so it was assumed that the Hero of Blood could mainly be left to her own devices, without a way to use her Blood skillz.

However, if there’s one thing I know about Blood Heroes, it’s that they are very good at beating impossible odds.  And it turns out that Prospitians don’t take too kindly to their princes and princesses being kidnapped.  Especially when a certain Blood Hero has made quite a few alliances while the new kids weren’t looking.

I’ve never seen the White Queen that angry before, in any Session.  And it turns out that she is just as ridiculously powerful as the Black Queen.  Maybe even more so.  Yet she didn’t kill the poor saps, no, she just beat them up and locked them in a cell.

After that, it was easy going for the original Session players.  The Page of Time went and leveled aaaaaaaall the way up, so he could give his team all the time they needed to sort out the Session. 

I feel bad for those poor kids that tried to take over the Session.  They would’ve been welcomed into the new Session, had they just asked.

 

 

3. The Session that went grimdark.

I don’t just mean that all the players in the Session went grimdark, (although that did happen.)  No, the SESSION ITSELF WENT GRIMDARK.  After every member of the team went grimdark, they opened a rift to allow a horrorterror to enter the Session.  They were fooled into thinking that inviting a horrorterror inside was the only way to win their apparently Doomed Session.

It wasn’t just your average horrorterror, either.  It was one of the “Noble” circle of horrorterror.  I put the word noble into parenthesis in order to create a feeling of sarcasm.  Because the horrorterror circle is anything but noble.  In fact, it’s completely the opposite of noble.  It’s ignoble.  The ignoble square of punymorons.  That’s it.  That’s their new name.

Anyway, the horrorterror in question used the Session as a sort of armored shell, to give itself more power, and elevate itself above the other horrorterrors.  As for the poor grimdark players trapped in the pilfered Session, they realized their mistake soon after their new houseguest started attacking them. 

The team managed to escape to their Hope Player’s Land. It turns out that the Hope angels negate the effects of grimdark status.  By staying on the Hope planet, the team stayed safe, because the horrorterror could’t get to them there, due to the angel’s protection.  Angels really hate horrorterrors, for some reason.  Anyway, the team’s Space player got them back on track, and blasted a hole out the horrorterror’s new shell, taking the Hope planet with them.  The team left my view after that, so I’m not entirely sure what happened to them.  They might’ve ridden the Hope Land all the way to a new Session, or just cruised around killing horrorterrors with the angels. 

As for the punymoron who invaded the Session, it lost a lot of it’s newfound power after the players made that Hope-shaped hole in its new armor.  The other horrorterrors ended up fighting over the abandoned Session, desperately trying to get in.  I’d never seen then that scared before.  What were they so worried about?  I’m not sure what, but if those abominations were desperate enough to invade a Session to protect themselves, it must have been something very powerful.  I think I’d like to shake the hand of anything that can get the horrorterrors running scared. 

Did I ever mention that I really hate horrorterrors?

 

2. The Session that had a team made entirely out of Bards.

I just….

What the…..

How…….

How does that even happen?  What kind of messed-up civilization spawns an entire race of people that can only be assigned to the Bard Title?  How would society function?  How did that race even survive, let alone advance to the point of SBURBian technology?

 

And the worst part?  It was one of the most successful Sessions I’ve ever seen.  12 Bard Players, each a different aspect.  Their Session cohesion was a thing of beauty.  It was amazing, the level of teamwork and coordination that the Bards somehow managed to pull out of their collective codpieces.  They barely even talked to each other, too!  Their schemes just lined up so horrendously that all their plans collapsed on one other and fused together a plan of sheer brilliance, propelling the team to victory. 

Well, Bards are supposed to be unpredictable.  Most people would predict that the Session would tank, but Team Bard shot that prediction to the ground.  Hard.

Now, this hardly seems like that bad of a Session, some of you may say.  And normally I would agree.  But there is a reason.  Before I extrapolate, an explanation is in order.   Some of you may be wondering how I watched all these Sessions.  It’s a simple explanation, really.  My own Session has a Witch of Void, and she set up a Fourth Wall for me to watch other Sessions through.  Normally, the rule is that Fourth Walls have to be connected through other Fourth Walls, but as the Witch of Void, rules don’t really apply to her.  So now I can view any point in time and space within Paradox Space, completely unseen.

Which is why this Session disturbed me so much.

I think….I think one of them knew I was watching.  The Void Bard.  I don’t know how it’s possible.  It shouldn’t have been possible.  But somehow, somehow he knew.  Every so often, whenever he was alone, that Bard would stop, turn, and stare at me.  And smile.  As if he could see me.  He never said a word to me.  He never told anyone else.  He just smiled. 

I almost feel bad for SBURB.  It never stood a chance.

 

1.    The Session where a grimdark player entered Trickster Mode.

……….

Oh no.

Not this one.

I’m not talking about this one.

Nope, not doing it.

It was bad enough watching it the first time; I’m not bringing that back up just for the sake of explaining.  I’m already scarred for life.

You don’t want to know.

You think you want to know, but trust me, you don’t want to know.

Let’s just say that things got a little out of hand.

Like, so far out of hand that it could be said that the hand is a whole universe away from said topic. 

Alright, look.  I know you want to know. 

But I don’t want you to.

Trickster mode is what happens when a SBURB Player gets a super duper power-up for their Title and Aspect.  A Maid of Life, for example, would be ridiculously giddy and be host to uncomfortable levels of energy.

Grimdark is what happens when horrorterrors overflow a Player with Void, giving them a brooding complexion and a tendency to go bananas and start stabbing people. 

So what happens when a Page of Doom gets charged up, while filled with Void?

The Page of Doom gives Doom to his Session, mixed with Void.

 

And then that Session turns into a Void-laced Doom bomb.

 

And then it explodes.

 

 

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4th July 2013

Question with 6 notes

stealingyourhope asked: Hi, could you analyze a team consisting of a Knight of Void (he's quiet and a little anti-social), a Seer of Doom (hyper, social, yet easily depressed) and a Thief of Hope (charismatic, a little energetic)? Thanks!!

C-c-c-c-combo breaker!


Knight of Void:

Personality –

Let me put it this way.  If you were to take a double agent, and combine it with the FBI, TSA, and Denmark, you would have about half the paranoia a Knight of Void does.  This Hero of Void has the most secretive of all SBURB personalities.  The Knight of Void lives, breathes, and eats secrets.  A Knight is one who defends their aspect, or defends with their aspect.  A Void player deals with darkness, shadows, secrecy, and obscurity.  So a Knight of Void is a “Protector of Secrets.”  They are the most annoyingly secretive people you will ever meet.  They will only ever tell you information on a need-to-know basis.  And very few people need to know, in the Knight’s opinion.  

(Protip: None of those people are you.  Yes, you.)    

Powers –

Stealth is in his very bones.  A Knight of Void that does not want to be found cannot be found.  The Knight will emerge out the shadows to strike when and where s/he is needed most, and then return to the shadows.  He could use darkness to lay down a protective cover, and then materialize the Void as a weapon, an ability all Void players share.  Very stealthy, very sneaky, and very, very dangerous.    

SBURB Influence –

In any SBURB Session with a Knight, there is always a lack of the Knight’s aspect.  For example, a Session with a Knight of Blood would be very chaotic and hold no camaraderie.  A Knight of Void’s Session would hold almost no secrets at all, initially.  This may sound like a good thing, but the lack of Aspect is never beneficial.  By lack of secrets, I mean that your enemies would know exactly where you were and what you are doing.  Perhaps Derse sent carapacians to become your “allies,” just to spy on you at the same time.  Or perhaps the horrorterrors have an unexpected ally that tells them what they need to know.  Or a rival Session installed bugs onto your computers that send them all your messages.  Whatever the case, it would be up to the Knight of Void to create a surplus of secrets.  S/he would go around destroying spies and secret cameras, and creating obscurity and protecting darkness wherever s/he went.  No information would be safe from this Hero of Void.     

Team Influence –

Because the Knight is so aloof, s/he has a hard time connecting with other people.   However, I feel like this Hero of Void would make good friends with the Seer of Doom.  The Knight of Void and Seer of Doom are both very angsty roles, and they might find comfort in their mutual despair.  Misery loves company, right?

 

Seer of Doom:

Personality –

Ms. Doom and Gloom

This poor Seer has the ability to foresee Doom.  That is about half as fun as it sounds. 

The burden of team leader will inevitably fall to the one who has the either the most desire or least desire to be leader, and the Seer of Doom most definitely has the least desire.  A social butterfly, but haunted by visions of doom and death.  The Seer puts on a smile when she can, but sometimes her visions get the best of her. 

(Protip:  Oh look, the doctor’s orders just came in.  He prescribes lots of hugs and cuddles for the poor Seer.)

Powers –  

The Seer of Doom can see Doom, and how it will occur.  While this is a difficult role, it is also a useful one.  The Seer can stop Doom before it happens, by making sure that the events that lead to Doom never occur. 

The Seer can also identify individuals who are doomed, and can take immediate action to alleviate said doomed status.  Knowing someone is doomed before it’s too late can be a matter of life and death, and thanks to the Seer, it usually ends in life.

SBURB Influence –

A powerful role, the Seer of Doom stops Doom before it occurs, and averts disaster.  S/he can see the Doom and the paths that lead to it, so all the Seer has to do is make sure those paths never occur, and the Doom will be averted.

Or the Seer may end up screaming futilely at her teammates as they slide into the very path she so desperately wants to avoid.  As the team turns and look at the choices they made, they will really wish they listened to the Seer. 

Wow.  That was really dark for me, actually.  Doom really manages to put a damper on things. 

No, seriously, Seers of Doom are really useful, albeit depressing.  Just listen to the Seer, alright?  Trust her.  She already knows how this story ends. 

Or more specifically, she knows how you end.

Team Influence –

The team leader, out of necessity.  The Knight can’t be the leader, because s/he needs to work in the background, with secrecy and shadows.  The Thief could be leader, but….well.  I’ll get to that later.

The Seer is <> with the Knight, because my resident Maid of Heart says so. 

Thief of Hope:

Personality –

Obliviously inconsiderate, but well-meaning.

The Thief of Hope likes to help people, she swears she does.  However, this Thief is very bad at it.  Every time this Hope hero tries to compliment someone it comes out seeming like an insult.  Every times the Thief tries to help, it only seems to get worse.  The Thief of Hope is a complete and total social clutz, but she won’t let a little thing like that stop her from making friends.

 These events only steel her determination, to push ahead and bring the team to victory, at any cost.

Hope players are famously stubborn, after all

(Protip:  And if this Hero of Hope has a meaningful religion?  Hope players are practically unstoppable when they embrace the truth.)

 

Powers –

The Thief of Hope can steal your Hope. 

Unless you have a really strong willpower, you are gonna be hard pressed to continue a prolonged fight with this Hero of Hope.  The longer you fight the Thief, the more confident she gets, and the more dismayed you become. 

However, the Thief has a much more powerful ability than simple status effects.  The Thief can steal your Hope.  Depending on how powerful the Thief has become, this can be an incredibly dangerous ability.

For example, the Thief could steal your hope to remain hidden and find you, or steal your hope to win and make you lose.  Do you see what I’m getting at here?  If you hope for a certain outcome, the Thief can steal that outcome and make it come out in her favor.  If you hope for anything, (to win the Session, get the girl, become team leader,) the Thief can take that from you.  Thieves, man.  Freaking Thieves.

Also, all Hope players can use basic Hope energy to fight, and gain the ability [Reject].  [Reject] allows Hope players to fire items out of their sylladex at ridiculously high speeds.  I mean, what situation calls for firing one hundred assorted bladed weapons at the same time?  It’s just overkill.  But hey, no kill like overkill, amirite?

SBURB Influence –

While the Thief may be inept when it comes to her friends, she is devastating when dealing with enemies.  This Hero of Hope will utterly crush the Dersites hope, and make them give up and surrender.  And she would revel in it.  While the Thief may be a total goofball around her teammates, she is a stone-cold intimidating TERROR to those who dare oppose her. 

You need information from Derse official?  Give the Thief two minutes alone with the Dersite, and you will have the information, and one terrified Dersite.

Team Influence –


The Thief of Hope really wants to be friends with the Seer of Doom.  There is just one problem.  The Thief is, well, the Thief.  Her social…..difficulties make it hard for her to make friends.  So the Thief will keep trying.  And trying.  And trying.  Until she succeeds.

As the Thief steals all this Hope, she may inadvertently steal some from the team.  The team might lose hope due to a crucial mission that the Thief botched.  However, the Thief would use the Hope she stole to fix what she messed up, and drag the team to victory.   

There are few things with more determination than a stubborn Hero of Hope.  And the Thief is one of the most stubborn of all. 

 

Overall Chance of Success:

Regardless of the void Session, this team is primed for victory.  Any sort of Space player would make this team unstoppable.  As it is, your best hope is to either hook up with another Session, or escape back to your undestroyed world through an artificially triggered Skaian defense portal. 

That’s the good thing about void Sessions.  Your world is left intact, without any Reckoning to destroy it.  If you manage to push a meteorite towards Skaia with your team on board, you can make it back to your home world and your old lives, without any time being lost in the home world.  You’ll arrive back on the planet safe and sound, with your Title and Aspect abilities intact.  And then you can basically become superheroes.  Which is awesome. 

If that doesn’t appeal to you, I know of a few Sessions that would love to add a group of players like this to their team.  You guys should meet up and beat up SBURB together.     

29th June 2013

Question with 49 notes

Anonymous asked: Hey there! Could you maybe analyze a session with a Mage of Mind, a Knight of Space, a Sylph of Time, and a Maid of Rage? Thank you very much! ^__^

Swiggity swevu let’s answer this review

 

Mage of Mind:

Personality –

Oh, grumpy Mage.  So brilliant, and yet so pessimistic. 

The Mage’s intellect is rivaled only by their capacity for cynicism.  If I had to choose a character for the Mage of Mind, it would probably be

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The Mage of Mind’s strongest weapon is, well, their mind.  This Hero of Mind is so smart that his intelligence is his superpower.  Both a photographic memory and an uncanny ability to analyze minor details make the Mage a formidable opponent in any situation.  In addition, the Mage is very good at playing mind games, as he or she understands what makes the human mind tick.  An expert in subjects that vary from horticulture to martial arts, the Mage is a true Renaissance man. 

Protip:  (Oh, and he’s also an insufferable prick.) 

Powers –

The Mage of Mind’s mind is their greatest asset.  The precise calculations and logical conclusions that the Mage could formulate in the middle of battle can devastate any opponent they may face.

SBURB Influence –

Mages are complicated fellows.  While they do have a very innate passion and knowledge of their Aspect, they also suffer greatly from it.  Their Aspect is initially both a blessing and a curse.  But any Mage worth his mettle take that curse portion and just beats the crap out of it until it becomes another blessing.  They don’t allow their Aspect to hold them back.  Their Aspect tries to control them, but I assure you that by the end of the Session, the Mage will be the one calling the shots.  As such, the Mage of Mind would start out with such a feverishly active mind that they would have trouble sleeping and would often push themselves way past their limits.  Their mind is always running, but it is never busy.  The Mage’s brain is so fast that they can complete complex calculations in any situation.  It makes no difference to the Mage if they are sitting in a dark room or in the middle of a fight.  Their brain can run so fast that it’s hard for the Mage to keep up.  Their goal would be to bring their rampant mind back under full control through sheer willpower and determination.

Team Influence –

The team leader, strategist, and local cynic. 

The Mage might seem mildly antagonistic and abrasive, but inside that sarcastic and pessimistic shell is a heart of gold.  You just have to dig really deep to get to it. 

Like, center of the Earth deep.

 

 

Knight of Space:

Personality –

Oh, Knight of Space.  You poor overworked fellow. 

The Knight of Space is the busiest of any SBURB role.  The Space player is usually very busy, what with all the frog-breeding they have to do.  Space Heroes are also expected to contribute in the SBURB game with normal duties as well, although they don’t have to deal with their Denizen being a total prick. 

That not enough for you?  Let’s throw on the duties of a Knight.  The Knight is responsible for running back and forth across practically all of Paradox Space protecting his or her teammates.  Not only that, but they have to fulfill their Aspect quests as well. 

So the Knight of Space has to deal with the Space Aspect, SBURB, their friends, saving their friends, comforting their friends, and just all around being their friends mommy, basically. 

Protip:  (Also, the Space player is responsible for dealing with all the emotional/psycho problems in a Session without a Heart or Blood player.  Have fun with that.  :D)  

Powers –

Now, the Knight of Space has a lot to do, so it makes sense that they would get a formidable set of powers.  A Knight of Space defends Space, and defends with Space, so they can use Space to amplify their strength, speed, and power up to incredible levels.  Of course, they can also Teleport, like all Heroes of Space, as well as affect Space rifts. 

SBURB Influence –

What does the Knight of Space do?

What doesn’t the Knight of Space do, would be a better question.  As the heavy hitter of the group, this Hero of Space would be primarily responsible for protecting the others, as the rest of the team doesn’t have much in the way of combative offensive power, except for the Maid.  In addition, the Knight breeds the frogs, comforts the teammates, and fights the battles. 

“There’s the large carpet in the main hall- Clean it! And the windows upstairs and down- Wash them! Oh yes, and the tapestries and the draperies. And don’t forget the garden. Then scrub the terrace, sweep the halls and the stairs, clean the chimneys. And of course there’s the mending and the sewing and the laundry…

That was a Cinderella reference, everybody.  Try and keep up.

Team Influence –

Everyone’s pal. 

Speaking of the Maid, this Knight is one of the few friends the angry Hero of Rage has.

The Sylph of Time helps him with his very busy schedule, and gives him the occasional tidbit of advice.

They are also one of the few who can get the Mage of Mind to stop being so smug and egotistical.  The Knight is the Watson to the Mage’s Sherlock.

Basically, the Knight of Space functions as everyone’s bro/mom.  They hang out and chill like a Knight Player and fuss and meddle like a Space Hero.  And wow does that take a lot of work.

Props to you, Knight of Space.

 

Sylph of Time:

Personality –

She runs like clockwork.  Every second counts, and time is money.  The Sylph of Time is always planned, prepared, and packed for any occasion.  She loves schedules and timetables, and adores calenders.

Protip: (She’s basically time’s fangirl.)

Powers –

This is where it gets interesting, and why the Sylph of Time is such an amazing person to have in any Session. 

The Sylph of Time is capable of healing with Time.  That means she can reverse any injury to the point where it didn’t happen.  This can be even better than a Life player, because a Sylph of Time has literally no limits.  She could bring a person back from the dead long after a Life player’s time limit expired. 

But even more importantly, this Sylph can heal Time.  Which means NO DOOMED TIMELINES.

YES.

NO NEEDLESSLY DEAD CHILDREN.

NO POINTLESS SLAUGHTERS.

Ahem.

Pardon my outburst, I’m normally more composed.

I’m just a little bit ABSOLUTELY HAPPY.

You see, a Sylph of Time does not Doom timelines, like most Time Heroes do.  On the contrary, every split-off timeline with a Sylph of Time invariably re-merges with the Alpha Timeline.  Basically, the Sylph makes the Timeline less rigid, so you can get away with doing things differently than the Alpha has planned. 

A Timeline is doomed when it splits off from the Alpha, because it the universe is taken off the course it originally takes to create itself, spawning a Paradox.  And SBURB, being the raging jerkwad that it is, decides to kill everyone inside these split-offs in horrible ways.  However, the doomed timeline could hypothetically save itself, if it could find a way to create itself regardless of the change from the Alpha.  The only obstacle to this course of action is that everyone is too busy being killed to fix the change.  But with a Sylph, the team can find a way to re-merge with the Alpha, and save everyone.

Have I ever mentioned that Sylphs are like the coolest thing ever?

SBURB Influence –

Aside from her unbelievably helpful Timeline fixing duties, the Sylph also functions as the combat wound-healer, reversing wounds so they never happened.  In addition, she might act as the co-leader of the group, as this Hero of Time is very efficient at managing, well… time.

Of course, there is also the obligatory Sylph Hulk rage attack that exterminates team-killers like nobody’s business.

Except it is somebody’s business.

It’s the Sylph’s business.

Actually, this Sylph’s rage would be pretty phenomenal.  She would walk around with her clipboard and schedule notebook, and find the team-killer.

The team-killer would mock her, while the Sylph looks at him with a deadpan expression.

The team-killer would leap to attack, charging at the Slyph.

And then the Hero of Time would very casually take her favorite pen and ram it into their necks.

Team Influence –

She is one of the few beings who can keep up with the Mage of Mind, due to her amazing skill with time management.  No one can plan a schedule better or with more accuracy than the Sylph of Time.  By “healing” Time in a metaphorical sense, she makes sure that time is never rushed, and that every occasion has its place in her little schedule book.

I can see also her as a good friend to the Knight of Space, as she can help him manage his very busy schedule.

“Alright, so you’re booked at 1:00 to save that village of consorts, and then at 1:30 you need to meet with the Maid to beat that two-player dungeon on LOWAS.  But hey, if you move up saving the Mage from an existential crisis to 2:30, you can make it to the team tea party at 4:00.  Bring the leftovers of those cookies you baked for the Dersite’s Annual Gala.  C’mon, make it snappy.”

 

Maid of Rage:

Personality –

The Maid of Rage is a very……angry individual.  However, she doesn’t want to be.  It is not her true personality, but merely a defense mechanism.  I would venture to guess that she has to deal with a lot of crap in her life, and uses anger to defend herself in most situations.  This Rage Hero lashes out at most attempts to befriend her because she is scared of being hurt.  She is confused and angry about her life and her choices, but doesn’t know how to change.  So she just keeps using anger to protect herself from others, and to separate herself from emotional pain.

(Protip:  Wow, that paragraph was a mood-killer.)

Powers –

I’m not the expert on Rage, but I would imagine that the Maid could enter a berserker state, and demolish everything in her path.  She could also surround herself with that purply slashy Rage energy stuff.  It would be a shield that would slash anyone who tried to get near.  It’s a lot more dangerous than it looks.  A lot like Rage players, actually.

SBURB Influence –

I have a theory about Maids.

I have two theories, actually. 

One is that SBURB gives someone the Title of Maid when they feel that person is too much of a cutie to die.  SBURB just falls in love with them and slaps them with the Maid Title in order to protect them.  To my knowledge, no Session that managed to achieve victory has ever ended with a dead Maid.  They are so resilient it’s unbelievable. 

My other theory is that SBURB occasionally finds people that they really enjoy tormenting, and just want to make sure that its victims don’t die for real.  Maids tend to get…..pushed around by their Aspect.  They are expected to do the dirty work of the Aspect with very little reward beyond surviving.  It just seems to me like Aspect’s equip their Maids with only enough power to finish what they are meant to do, and keep surviving.  After the Maid is done with her primary task, she is often installed as a caretaker, if you will, in some form or another.  They are responsible for managing some iteration of the Aspect.  They seem to enjoy the care taking part, though.  It’s usually something Maids love doing.

Team Influence –

Well, a Maid protects themselves with their Aspect in order to provide their group with their Aspect.  So the Maid’s constant angry responses would make the others more agitated and irritated, as they grew fed up with her nonstop anger.   However, the Knight would have her back.  Space players are famously hard to annoy.  It would take one heck of a grade-A jerk maneuver to make a Hero of Space really mad.  And the Maid, angry though she may be, is not really mean enough to do something like that.  She’s just confused, and needs support from her friends.

The Knight of Space, being the good fellow that s/he is, would be there for the Maid.  They would hang out and just work through their problems and give each other advice.  I’m seeing diamonds, if you know what I mean.

 

Overall chance of success:

Not bad, not bad at all.

The Knight of Space as the heavy hitter and all-around handy man.

The Mage of Mind as the brilliant strategist and leader.

The Maid of Rage as a skillful combat defender and tough girl.

The Sylph of Time to deal with those pesky Doomed Timelines and reverse wounds, as well as run the team’s schedule.

A very good likelihood of success.  The Maid of Rage might be a problem down the line if she is neglected, as the only one really capable of going grimdark.  Make sure the Knight of Space finds time for her.

Otherwise, just do your thing and show SBURB whose boss!

Stay safe!

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